Guilty
by lozzieeeXO
Summary: It has been 10 years since his death and many things have changed..except the guilt..that will always remain..because if Andrew hadn't of saved her..he would still be alive..and she would be better off..and now Darien's back..the person she hated the most
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: **i do not own Sailor moon, or any of the characters.

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Guilt. i knew that feeling well, because i felt it constantly.

I felt guilty because i lied to them.

I felt guilty because they thought i had a perfect life.

I felt guilty for all the times i ran out on them and i pretended i didn't care.

but mainly, i felt guilty because i was alive, and he was not.

Guilt was the only emotion i could feel, it over-whelmed the sadness and hatred. He was like my brother, and it was my fault he was dead.

I should have died that night, not him. The guilt was the reason i have stayed alive this long, i couldn't even think of dying, he died to save me and to let me live, if i killed myself, he would have died for nothing.

But the truth was, all i wanted to do was to see him smile again, to hear him laugh, for him to wrap his arms around me and tell me everything was going to be ok, even when i knew it wasn't.

He died 10 years ago today, my back is leaning against his tomb stone. I cry, i always do on this very day, my friends do not know where i am, they don't know what day it is, they barely even know me. They know the fake me, the me who's father didn't put in a coma, the me who's mother did not killed her self, the me who doesn't have a care in the world. I am a complete and utter fake. So i sit here, crying over him, with the rain pouring over my skin, the rain suits my mood, i feel like the sky is crying for him. Today is the only day that i don't feel guilty, i am only sad. He wanted me to live, but none of my friends even remember him, they met him briefly, i had known him since birth. He was there when i woke up from my coma's, when my mother tried to run over me, he was by my side when i no longer felt the will to live, when the pain became unbearable. He was the only person who knew me, he knew all my secretes, every single one of my dreams and fears, and i knew all of his.

I turn to face his tomb stone, i read the words out loud

'here rest's a gentle and loving man

he will be remembered in our heart forever

Andrew Jonathon Furuhata

may he rest in peace'

He would have hated that tombstone, which is why i preferred not to look at it. Yes he was gentle and loving, but other then that it said nothing about who he really was. If it had been up to me the tombstone would have been in the shape of a turtle, his secrete obsession.

Alot of people had visited him during the day, i hid behind the cherry blossom tree near his grave, i did not want them to know i was here. His parents hated me, they said i took him away from them, that it was my fault he was dead. They were right, even if they don't know how or why he died. I wonder if any one would ever visit my grave, my friends might. I know what i want my tomb stone to say, i have since i turned 7.

'Here lies Serena Tsukino

a fake

may you all burn in hell' with a love heart carved next to it.

I stood up slowly and walked out of the cemetery, i had a plan. I would stop crying the minuet i walked out of the iron gates, then i would get some ice-cream and catch up with my 'friends'. But that all went to hell when a stranger walked past me. He was not really a stranger, but i had not seen him since i was 14, my birthday and the day of Andrew funeral. I dont know if he saw me, but to be honest i didn't care. He had made my life more painful then it already was, he teased me about my every flaw. I hated him 10 years ago, and i hate him now. But it looked like he had changed since, he was only 16 then, the same age of Andrew. He was Andrew's friend not mine.

He looked sad. I did not want to see him ever again, sometimes i could still hear is words, i could feel them cut through me like a knife. I dont now if he knew it hurt me, Andrew was never around when he did it. I think it was all a joke to him. He made fun of my 'perfect life', sometimes i just wanted to tell him why my life wasn't perfect just to shut him up. But i never did, i restrained myself, and managed to yell insults back at him before i ran away, and straight into Andrew's comforting arms. I never did tell Andrew about the things he said, i dont know if i thought Andrew wouldn't believe me, because i knew he would, but a part of me still doubted that.

He looked up at me, i ignored him, his mouth dropped slightly but i kept walking. I had changed since then to, my eyes no longer sparkled, they hadn't since he died. They looked dead, inside i was dead, but i maintained my facade to my friends and they believed it hook, line and sinker. My hair was still golden blonde, and i still wore it in the same style as i did when i was a kid. My body has matured just like my mind. I am dead inside. But i will continue to pretend im alive so Andrew died for a reason. I missed the old me, i missed him. My childhood was hell, but only my family and Andrew knew that. My laugh used to be real, much like me smile. I used to skip and twirl like a normal 14 year old. I was lively and fun. But now i am nothing more that an empty shell. Andrew died with my heart in his hands, he did not take it, he did not want it, but i gave it to him anyway. My heart would always be with him, even if it still beats inside me.

I laughed slightly, my tears had stopped flowing, my clothes were completly wet. Their was no doubt my friends would yell at me for being late.

I arrived outside the temple, our normal meeting place. Today was different then most days, but i was going to pretend it wasn't. They were waiting for me inside, i took two steps inside then regretted it. My fake smile rested on my lips, they never bothered to look deep into my eyes, they were supposed to be my friends, but they did not see past my smile. If they cared about me and knew me so well why couldn't they see i was hurting inside?. She was the first to yell at me. I was used to it, she said i was worthless and did not care about them, otherwise i would not be dripping wet and almost an hour late. I did not mean to be late, i left the cemetery at the right time, but he had startled me. But their was no way i could tell them that. She was in love with him, my friend in love with my enemy. It sounds like somethingout of a book. but it was true, she had gone on dates with him a long time ago, but i knew he did not care about her. This annoyed me, why would some one pretend to be interested when they weren't? but i guess i only felt that way because deep down i knew i did the same thing. I pretended i cared about their small problems, like what to wear on a date and what make up to buy. I cared about them, however their problems were another story. I was sick of pretending. They used to know me, but only certain parts, i kept sections of my personality locked up, Andrew just happened to be the only one with the key.

"Stop" i said, but she did not "stop" i repeated. I heard the others trying to calm her down. At this moment i did not care why she was angry or the reason we had to meet here. I stoped caring about that years ago.

I loved them. But they only loved the fake me. If they knew who i really was they would not talk to me. I scare myself sometimes, the thoughts that enter my mind are not ones i want to be thinking. They are dark and evil. The angel that once resided next to me had left the day he died, the small devil that used to be quite now spoke to me in a tone i understood.

The voice told me to leave, and that exactly what i did, i told them all to burn in hell, and left with my head held high. My life was finally changing. The devil on my shoulder had a voice inside my head, it had been speaking to me at his funeral and had never stopped. I knew it wouldn't leave me, i would not let it. It told me to call it 'Rena', and that's exactly what i did. she sounded alot like me but her voice was dark and gloomy. I loved to hear her speak, her words were what i wanted to here. But i missed the angle 'Serenity' was her name, her voice was innocent and light, when she spoke it was like music to my ears 'one day your prince will rescue us' she used to say, but then she left me all alone. Rena never left me, but she always hated Serenity, Rena wanted her dead, and it was what she got. Serenity was dead, and so was my soul.

"Shut up" i mutterd, i hate it when Rena says that, she always says im worthless. Which is why i like her, she doesnt lie to me.

"Look" Rena says, i see what she is looking at. He is walking towards me. 10 years ago i would not of noticed, and then ended up running into him and falling on the floor, which is when he would laugh and call me 'meat-ball head'. Serenity never told me to look out for him, Rena always did. Serenity said he was handsome and kind, she always saw the best in people, i used to be like that. Rena said he was mean and should get hit by a truck, which is what i am thinking right now.

He looked up at me

"Hi Serena" he muttered

"go head butt a knife" i hissed. He stopped walking and looked back at me, i stopped walking to. I was not in the mood for an argument with him, but Rena told me to stop.

"What is your problem?" he asked

"Nothing" i shrugged "why were you at the cemetery?" i asked

"so it was you"

"just answer the question"

"you know why" he said. I had heard enough, i turned around on my heels and walked away, despite Rena telling me to stay still.

"You have changed" he said. That stopped me, no one had ever said that to me, no one had ever noticed.

"What do you mean?" i asked, i walked close to him. Rena was telling me what his tombstone should read

'Darien Sheilds

jackass

he may of been murdered, but at least she had fun doing it' Rena said, i tried not to laugh.

"Never mind" he shrugged

"Darien" i said "how have i changed?"

"you just have, your not the same as you used to be"

"that's kind of what change means!" Rena shouted, if only Darien could hear her.

"Your eyes are dead" Darien said

"they are not" i lied. Darien placed his hands on my shoulders

"he cares" i heard a voice said

"leave me alone Serenity" i thought, she had returned. I did not want her and neither did Rena. Rena was killing her inside my head, i could see it in front of me, just behind Darien. I knew they were not their, i was not crazy, but i could still see them. Rena returned to me side, and Serenity disappeared, as well as Darien's touch. Rena looked like me, but her hair was a dirty blonde instead of my golden hair, she wore it in the same style as i did, but her clothes were black, i could see the blood on her hands.

I never wanted to see Serenity again, her silver hair and flowing white dress haunted me. Her eyes were alive, her voice was happy. She sounded more mature then i did. Her words used to make sense, but that had changed. Rena made sense to me, i liked her, she did not lie. Serenity said i was not worthless and that i did not kill Andrew. Rena said i was worthless and that it was my fault he was dead. Rena spoke the truth, Serenity was in denial. Serenity was the crazy one and Rena was sane. It was just the way things were. I often wonder if anyone else has an angel and a devil?.

"Leave me alone Darien" i said, i tried to walk of but his hand caught my wrist. As i turned around i could see Serenity's body lying lifless on the pavement.

"It was not your fault" he said, Rena was laughing now.

"You Darien, are a liar" i said, he let go of my wrist. I walked past him, heading in the opposite direction to where i was supposed to go. I made sure to walk over Serenity's body, Rena did the same, with a wicked smile on her face.

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**(A/N) **PLEASE REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Sailor Moon or any of the character

**(A/N): **This chapter is written in Dariens point of view.

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He is dead.

The best friend i ever had. My real friend. He did not deserve to die, but then she did not either. He died on his own terms, he gave his life to save her. I don't think she is grateful for that. I have not seen her for 10 years, since his funeral.

She is different. I only saw her for a brief moment while walking into the cemetery to visit his grave.

Something about her had changed. She used to be care free. but i can tell she now carries the weight of the world on her delicate shoulders.

I have read many books trying to find out whats wrong with me. I must be going crazy. They talk to me, i don't know what to call them. They are different to each other. I think it said in a book i once read, that they are the angle and devil on your shoulders. Im sure they did not mean literally. But thats what i got, Endymion and Dare. That is their names. I do not like Dare much, he tends to keep quite. Endymion is the one i listen to, he was the one that told me to go the cemetery right now. I asked why, he did not give an explanation. Neither of them control me, but i do hear what they have to say. Even if no one else can. Their voices are in my head, i can see them when i walk, Dare stays to my right, Endymion to my left. If what they say in the books are true, then Dare would be the Devil. I am sure of that, his eyes are dead black, he wearers black clothes, with a black hoodie that he keeps the hood over his head. I can only make out his eyes and mouth. I get the feeling that if he removed his hood from over his head, something bad would happen and Endymion would disappear. They seem to be constantly fighting for my attention, Endymion makes the most sense, he is reasonable. But it confuses me why he wears what he does, its like armour, but blue, the only thing he is missing is a sword. I gave my respects to his grave then left. Their was no need to hang around, i have accepted his death, she obviously has not, even after 10 years.

Dare keeps repeating what his tombstone reads,

'here rest's a gentle and loving man

he will be remembered in our heart forever

Andrew Jonathon Furuhata

may he rest in peace' he is laughing as he reads it. I never wonder what my tombstone would say, i really don't want to know. Death is not usually on my mind, but i know Dare has been trying to decide what my tombstone would say anyway. He really pisses me off.

I went for a walk, then i ran into her. Dare said he saw her. Endymion says some people have both a 'Devil and an Angel' as i do, but he didnt put it like that. He also said that she was one of those people. But her 'Angel' had disappeared years ago. I feel sorry for her, i dont know why, no one had ever told me that her life was anything but perfect. Dare seems to like her, both he and Endymion can see her 'Devil'.

"Hi Serena" i muttered,

"go head butt a knife" she hissed

What is your problem?" i asked

"Nothing" she shrugged "why were you at the cemetery?" she asked

"so it was you"

"just answer the question"

"you know why" i said. She started to walk away.

"She listens to it" Endymion said,

"Its HOT!" Dare said, i could see that he was smiling wickedly. I knew they were referring to her 'devil'.

"You have changed" i said, she stopped walking, and turned around to face me.

"what do you mean?" she asked me, pretending she had no idea what i was talking about. Dare started to laugh, i didn't want to know why, but i had the feeling it had something to do with her 'Devil'.

"It is pretending it doesn't see us' Endymion said

"it's name is Rena" Dare said "she imagining what our tombstone would say, that girl is pure evil".

"Shut up" i thought, they were giving me a headache.

"Never mind" i shrugged

"Darien" she said sternly "how have i changed?"

"you just have, your not the same as you used to be".

Dare started to laugh again, Endymion moved a step forward, so he could see Dare, he glared at him.

"Her eyes are dead" Endymion said

"your eyes are dead" i repeated

"They are not"

"she is lying" Endymion said. I placed my hands on her shoulders, Endymion and Dare looked shocked

"what?" i thought

"i don't like her" Dare said

"That's not what you said a minute ago" i thought

"not her, 'Her!'" Dare pointed, i could not see what he was pointing towards.

"Leave me alone" she said, i turned and grabbed her wrist, i did not want her to leave.

Endymion turned around and so did Dare,

"what are you looking at?" i thought, neither of them replied

"stop it" Endymion said

"what?" i thought, but i knew he was not talking to me.

"Its not your fault" i said

"you Darien, are a liar" she said. She walked past me, in the same direction that she had just came from,

"Serena" i called, but i don't think she heard me.

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**(A/N):**PLEASE REVIEW! if theres no reviews..then i dont write anymore chapters..SO PLEASE REVIEW!


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: **i do not own Sailor Moon

SERENA'S P.O.V

They were upset with me, to put it mildly, it wasn't that i had told them all to burn in hell, but the tone that i had used. That's what my 'friends' told me anyway, i was told not to believe them, and did that exactly. Rena was never one to lie and i had no doubts that her intentions were good, but even though i had ignored them for almost a week now, they were being persistent.

Why did they need to bother me? i just want to be alone, void of all the fake laughter and smiles, no more pretending. But this will never happen, i can ignored my 'friends' forever, but i keep seeing him almost everywhere. I would rather stick pins in my eyes, then have another conversation with him, once every 10 years is almost to much to handle.

I remember the first time he spoke to me, just after i was let out of the hospital. Andrew wasn't with me then, he had to work, all i did was walk down the street, my legs were still unsteady beneath me, and all my bruises and scars were covered, i had bumped into him, and that was all. He had called me an idiot, and told me to watch where i was going, back then i apologised to people. But i guess that just shows how long ago it really was.

Rena started to yell again, but secretly i was starting to miss my 'friends' they don't know me at all, but around them i can pretend to be the person i once was, or at least tried to be. My hands are shaky, i hate to think about the past, the bad memories are the one that i seem to remember clearly, but they are usually followed by happy memories of him, which makes the pain worth it.

I miss him. Alot more then i should, i know its not normal after all these years, but how can i not? he was like my brother, he protected me from things, but mainly he protected me from myself.

If i told me friends how close to him i was, i think they might understand, but this is all crazy talk, Rena keeps telling me, i know she is right, shes the only one who understands me, and shes not even real.

"Look" she laughed, i tried to find what interested Rena so much, it was him again, but she wasn't even looking directly at him, i wish i could see what she See's, then i might understand a bit more.

"Serena" Darien said

"What happened to meatball head? or idiot?" i snapped

"we gotta go" Rena said

"why?" i thought

"trust me" Rena replied

"I have to go..i would say its nice talking to you..but we both know that's a lie" i hissed, i walked straight passed him, ignoring his pleading eyes, i knew he wanted to talk to me, but that never ended well in the past.

Why does he have to make it difficult, i know Andrew was his best friend, but hes still the same jackass, i know he is, Rena agreed with me, she continued to laugh evilly, i started to feel strange, i miss Serenity.

I don't know what lead me here, Rena kept telling me to turn back, but i couldn't, i needed to see my friends, to tell them who i am, just so they can reject me like everyone else, at least then i may not feel so guilty.

The temple is beginning to look more beautiful. This thought makes me realise i sound like Serenity, i don't like it at all, and neither does Rena, i sound crazy, maybe that's the problem all these years. My father hated me because i was crazy, it sounds so right, it was my fault all along, i don't want to see them anymore, i deserve to feel guilty, Rena smiles, i have come to the conclusion myself, without her having to tell me.

This feeling is following me everywhere, even now, as i sit in my living room, watching Luna and Artemis, the turtles, i still feeling guilty. I shouldn't be here, this is his apartment, Andrew should be here watching them, not me, i was always going to die young, even if i was the one responsible for it. I smile, they are so peaceful, completely oblivious to everything else around them, even me. But then i guess that normal for a pair of turtles.

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**A/N: **please review~!


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: **i do not own Sailor Moon

**THIRD PERSON POINT OF VIEW**

He stared at the items that surrounded him in his living room. Out of all of it, over half he had never used.

This thought had struck Darien thousands of times before, but this was the first time he had decided to do something about it. Darien wanted to make his life more simple, discard all clutter and make sure, that when he died, he wasn't remembered as the man who had 7 useless coffee machines.

Except those 7 coffee machines were never used because the Arcade had the best coffee and good conversations along with petty fights with Serena. Darien had never gone back into the Arcade after Andrews sudden death, it felt wrong getting served coffee by anyone else but Andrew.

He had never seen Serena so angry. He had called her names before, but he never really meant them. Darien wondered why she was so angry at him, Raye and the girl said she must just be in a bad mood.

They had told him what Serena had said before storming out, it didn't sound like her to be so hostile.

Darien stood up, he had decided to find out why Serena was so upset, and he had to do it himself because Endymion and Dare were being no help at all.

The streets were almost empty which was strange for this time for day. Darien knew where to find her, either the Arcade or at Andrews old apartment, he didn't know why Andrews had left everything to Serena, Darien had never known they were that close.

The sliding doors opened, allowing a flow off warm air to hit him, at least now he knew why the streets were empty, everyone was inside, trying to stay warm while the weather got worse.

Darien sat down on the only empty seat in the Arcade, he sighed

"just my luck" Darien mumbled, they only seat just had to be his old one, the one he sat on every morning while Andrews served him coffee.

"there's no such thing as luck" a cold voice said behind him

"she's back" Dare grinned

"Serena" Darien said, he turned to faced her, they were eye to eyes, and she didn't seem happy at all to seen him.

"Why do you hated me?, I've never done anything to you" Darien asked

Serena's eyes narrowed as she glared at him fiercely, Darien had no idea what he had said wrong.

"never done anything wrong?" Serena mocked "you insulted me, you yelled at me for falling over when i could barley even stand" her eyes were welling with tears but she continued anyway "then you would laugh at me if i got bad test results because i missed so much school when i was in the hospital, oh and when you found the test i threw out and told my mother, i ended up in a coma, now tell me you've never done anything to me" Serena said, her voice was shaky and hushed, tears were trickling down her cheeks.

Darien was speechless, the room was still loud and buzzing with activity, but still Darien couldn't talk.

_'she's lying, she has to be, Andrews would have told me' _

Serena ran out of the Arcade, she couldn't believe she had told him, he couldn't understand.

Serena continued to run until everything around her was no longer familiar, until she became lost.

Serena hunched over with her hands on her knees, waiting for her breathing to become normal.

"i hated him" she whispered "i hated him so much" Serena began to cry again, except this time it wasn't just because of how frustrated and angry she was, or the memories that she wished she could forget, Serena was crying because she had run to the one place she had planed to burn to the ground, in the hope that everything that took place here, would be destroyed from her memory as well.

Serena stood up straight and wiped her tears, this was no place to be weak.

"seems the little wench has come home" a voice said, she turned around, although she found no one, but still Serena knew who the voice belonged to. Her mother.

"im going" Serena whispered she turned and ran in the same direction that she had come, but her wrist was caught and Serena suddenly remember why she hated this place so much, she hated her family and she hated this house.

"now now dear, with an ugly girl like you standing out the front of our house people might think your a thief..or a murderer" her mother hissed.

"just leave me alone" Serena mumbled

"they still don't know you killed him, do they?" her mother laughed

"no, i didn't kill him, its fathers fault he's dead, not mine"

Her mother reacted the same way she always did, she slapped Serena as hard as she could, leaving a red hand mark on her only daughters cheek.

Serena stared blankly at her mother, her slaps no longer hurt, Serena was used to them and had been for a long time.

"your father would never do such a thing, if you hadn't been such a troubled and useless child that idiot of a boy, Andrew would still be alive" Irene hissed, she then let go of Serena and walked back inside, Serena continued to stared straight ahead, allowing for the words to sink it.

They pierced her heart like knives, her mother always was good with words, or so Rena says.

Serena blinked and sighed, she raised her hand to her red cheek, she turned around and bumped into a very confused looking Darien.

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Please comment~!


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER:** i do not own Sailor Moon.

She was speechless but still to upset to try to deny everything.

Serena hoped he hadn't seen anything and that he had only just arrived, but that wasn't very likely considering the look of disbelief he had shown across his face.

"what the hell is he doing at our house?" Rena asked

"Stalker" Serena hissed as she ran past him, keeping her head down so he couldn't see her tears, Serena had never been so embarrassed in her entire life.

It was different when Andrew was alive. If her parents became angry Serena always had him to run to, but now there was no one to run to, Serena was all alone, she only had rena.

_'i can go seen the girls' _Serena thought

"they don't want anything to do with you, like they would care anyway, Serena your all alone you've only got me...everyone else left you, why cant you see that?" Rena said.

Serena hung her head low and slowed down until she was walking. The clouds above her head were flashing with lightning, she was going to get caught in a thunderstorm except unlike most people, Serena didn't mind.

She was headed for the cemetery and it seemed appropriate for it to rain.

The iron gates of the cemetery creaked and she jumped them, she couldn't be bothered trying to opened them, it was always such a pain with only one person.

"why do you want to come here , he's dead get over it" Rena snapped, Serena started to run again, slipping and sliding in the puddles of water until she finally fell over.

Serena laid still faced first in the large puddles of mud and water, the rain melted down on her back as she wondered if it possible to drown this way.

She managed to sit up but couldn't bring herself to stand, Serena knew she would end up falling over again anyway and she was where she wanted to be, right infront of Andrews tombstone.

"who was that?" a voice said, Serena recognized it immediately

"he really is a Stalker" Rena laughed

"leave me alone" Serena hissed "its got nothing to do with you anyway"

"are you okay?" he asked

Serena's eyes welled with tears she couldn't help it, he just looked to sincere, it took all of her energy not to hug him or punch him in the face.

Darien didn't know what to do.

"her mothers a psycho" Dare laughed

Darien wondered what he would do if dare wasn't just a fragment of his imagination, the answered at this precise moment was obvious to Darien, he would punch him.

Darien looked down at Serena and ignored the voice chanting softly in the back of his mind because although when he was younger Darien may have listened to Dare occasionally and mock Serena but that was before he knew that Serena's life wasn't as perfect as he thought it to be.

So Darien ignored the voice and common sense and knelt down infront of Serena, in the mud, and pulled her into a hug.

It only took Serena a few seconds to realize what just happened before she started scratching and sitting Darien's chest in an attempt to get him to let go. But even if there was no way in hell Serena would every admit it, hugging Darien kind of felt nice, even somewhat comforting.

Serena started to closer her eyes and relax, but then Darien had to ruin it all by moving away.

"what-" she started to say before Darien picked her up and carried her towards the cherry tree, towards Andrew.

Serena was expecting Darien to drop her roughly , she almost hoped he would so she couldn't continued hating him, but Serena knew that eventually the real Darien would come back and tease her about everything that had happened.

Darien placed Serena down with her back leaning against his tombstone, he then sat on the other side so that they were back to back with Andrew's tombstone between them.

Serena looked up at the sky, the rain petted down on her skin, but she was happy that she was no longer crying.

"what happened to you?" Darien asked

"none of your business" Serena snapped, but there was no hostility in her voice.

"i know you were there Serena" Darien said

At first Serena had no idea what he was talking about, but she knew that it had to have something to do with where they were.

"it wasn't you fault" he said "but what happened?"

"you know nothing...it was my fault..she says it was...she wouldn't lie to me" Serena said, her voice started to shake, this wasn't a topic she wanted to discuss.

"who told you it was your fault?" Darien asked, although their was no point in asking, Endymoun had already told him it was Rena.

"she would lie to me" Serena began to cry "i know she wouldn't"

Darien decided to tell him all he knew, he never hated her, he just didn't have a reason to be kind to her.

"i know you were there...in the factory before it burnt down.. I followed Andrew...Serena you were there when he walked into the factory...i heard your voice..then left...i just figured it was between you and him.."

Serena didn't say anything, she just couldn't, now everyone would know that she killed him, that she was a murderer.

The truth was, that Darien didn't blame Serena for his death, it was just easier, because if Darien hadn't walked away, Andrew would still be alive, in Darien's opinion.

Darien felt guilty, he had no idea what happened inside of the factory, or why Andrew went there in the first place, but he still couldn't help it.

"it was none of our business" Endymoun said "nothing would have changed"

"you could have helped, if you had gone inside" Dare said, Darien decided to ignore his comment and side with Endymoun, usually at this point he would go back to blaming Serena, but instead he wanted to know what really happened.

"you can tell me" Darien stated

For awhile Serena said nothing, and neither did Darien but he still hoped that she would speak to him and finally tell someone the truth.

"if i tell you..you cant tell anyone..okay?" Serena said, her voice was even more shaky

"okay" Darien said

"if he tells anyone im going to kill him" Rena said "your going to get locked up because of this"

_'shut up..just pleased shut up..i cant deal with the truth right now..the lies just hurt less..so shut up' _Serena thought.

"fine I'll tell you"

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please review~!

next chapter should be up soon...almost done.. :)


	6. Chapter 6

underlined=other end of the phone line

_italics=thoughts_

DISCLAIMER: i do not own sailor moon..

_**FLASHBACK -10 years ago**_

_It was going to be a bad day, i can just feel it. The clouds are dark and the sky is gloomy, i hate thunderstorms. _

The phone rang as Serena pulled the curtains shut again and prepared herself for the worst, just in case it wasn't him.

"Serena get the damn phone!" a voice called, Serena sighed and walked into the hallway, she didn't want to leave the comfort of her bedroom, but her mother sounded drunk, and Serena didn't want to risk upsetting her, especially not today.

'Happy birthday!' he said, Serena smiled

"Thanks Andy but i was going to meet you at the arcade with the girls later anyway, you didn't have to call" Serena reminded him

'I just wanted to be the first to say it' Andrew said

"Serena, make breakfast your mama's head hurts" her mother slurred

'You can stay at my apartment tonight if you want' 

"Oh, you heard that, i gotta go, i think dad's up" Serena whispered, and then she hung up.

_Maybe the day is looking up, i just hope that dad doesn't find out it was Andrew on the phone, he will freak. _

"It will all be okay just known it will be" Serenity said, Serena smiled

"Liar" Rena muttered

_You just shut up...Serenity is right....of course she is... _

"Serena where is my food! Come cook your mama breakfast!" Irene yelled, Serena could tell that she was sobering up, and that was never a good thing, her mother was a nice drunk, not like her father.

"i'm coming mama" Serena sighed, she was hoping that her mother might know what day it is, after all there was a greater chance then her father actually remembering his only child's 14th birthday.

Serena walked into the kitchen and tried not to act differently, so that no one would know she was hurt by it, not that it was really much of a surprise considering it was always the same, every year.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! NO DAUGHTER OF MINE HAS BOYS CALLING HER AT 10 IN THE MORNING!" he yelled, Serena froze, she didn't need this.

"Run" Serenity said "please run"

"Punch him, come on wimp, hit him hard" Rena said

Serena listened to Serenity as she always did, but Rena's idea sound pretty good as well, as the consequences would be the same either way.

She ran out through the back door, jumped over the back fence and into the small alley way that ran behind her house.

She hesitated again, not knowing where to go and wondering if her dad would follow.

"The arcade" Serena decided, she smiled and looked down at what she was wearing, denim jeans, sandals and a pink T-shirt.

_I look fine, even if the girls are early they won't notice, and if they ask i can just say i wanted to play video games before they arrived...yeah...that sounds like the Serena they know. _

Serena smiled brightly and started to skip down the alley, she was glad to be meeting up with her friends, but most of all Andrew. She didn't care if everyone else forgot, as long as Andrew remembered.


	7. Chapter 7

disclaimer: i do not own Sailor Moon

FLASH BACK CONTINUED

They were waiting for her, but who knew when she would finally show up, after all Serena was known for being a ditz.

"She's late" Mina sighed, Raye scowled and tried to be patient but it was getting on her nerves.

"She is such a ditz!" Raye fumed "we organize to meet her here and she's late!"

"Now, now Raye" Amy said, trying to calm her hot-tempered friend, "she will be here...eventually" she added quietly.

Andrew sat in the arcade, watching the girls in their usual booth giggling and bickering like they always did. But he always felt sad whenever he saw them, especially when Serena was with them, she always had that daunting look in her eyes that only he could see. Serena tried to hide it, she didn't want them to see the real her, the one she let only him see.

But at least now she wasn't here, she didn't know yet that they had forgotten her birthday.

Andrew turned around on the bar stool and faced the doorway, he smiled as he saw her skipping and twirling her way closer and closer to her destination, Andrew could only tell it was her by the two pigtails that flowed in the wind, she was his little sister and he wanted her to be happy.

"Look, see she did come" Mina told Raye

"And she is only 30 minutes late, that's not that bad for our Serena" Lita said.

***

Darien was in a hurry, he needed something with caffeine to shake off a whole night studying, and the arcade was his only source seeing how he could never get to the store to make any for himself.

THUMP

"Watch it" Darien murmured

"I'm sorry!" she apologized "I'm really-..Oh...it's you" her voice sounded bitter, he looked across and almost smiled, of course it was Serena the klutz.

"Trip over your own feet again, meatball head?" Darien asked

"No" she hissed, Serena stood up and dusted herself off, like she had so many times before.

"He doesn't mean it" Serenity said soothingly

"I hope so" Serena thought

"Punch him in the face! That jerk deserves it!" Rena encouraged and cheered, Serena ignored her and pushed past Darien.

The girls stared at her as she walked in, she looked around the arcade until she spotted Andrew, a big smile spread across her face but Serena continued to walk towards their usual booth in the back corner, right near all the best games.

"Hi girls!" Serena smiled "sorry I'm late!"

"You're such a ditz Serena!" Raye said, but it wasn't as if she hadn't expected it, Serena was a flake.

Serena sat down and laughed, continuously apologizing to the girls, she looked at Andrew who was behind the counter and smiled "how about I shout you milkshakes!" she announced.

"Hi Serena" Andrew said "what can I go you for?"

"5 milkshakes please, 2 chocolate, 1 vanilla and 3 strawberry" Serena ordered, she took a seat on one of the bar stools.

"So how have you been Serena?" Andrew asked casually

"Fallen down recently?" a voice added, Serena looked to her left and sighed, it was him.

"What are you a stalker?" Serena snipped, Darien didn't reply, which just annoyed Serena even more.

"Patience" Serenity reminded her

"Yes, little one, patience" Rena said, mocking Serenity's tone, she then laughed "yeah right, he hates you because you're a complete fake"

Serenity leaned close behind Serena and whispered in her ear "don't listen to Miss Rena, you are always yourself"

Serena smiled and collected the tray of milkshakes

"Don't drop it klutz" Darien teased

"Darien" Andrew sighed, there was no point intervening, he and Serena were supposed to be seen as acquaintances, their friendship was a secrete. It was easier that way, Serena trusted him, she could only be herself around him, and after all he was the only one in the world who knew everything about her.

Serena took one step, then another. Walking slowly, holding the tray steadily in front of her, the girls were watching her as was Darien, but Serena had to concentrate.

Serena only took her eyes of the tray for a second.

"Boo" Rena yelled, Serena jolted and all her efforts were for nothing. She wobbled slightly at first, the milkshakes started to spill over the edges, her feet shook and at the worst possible moment. Serena klutzed out, dropping the tray of milkshakes on the floor and over herself. Darien laughed at her, Raye yelled, the others shook their heads or laughed and Andrew picked up the mop and ushered Serena into the back, Serena knew she could trust Andrew because he was always the one to clean up her messes and save her from complete embarrassment.

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please review! another chapter will be up soon i hope..


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON **(no matter how hard i wish)

FLASHBACK CONTINUED AGAIN

"Are you alright?" Andrew asked as he pushed her onto the couch

"Yep, never better" Serena replied although her voice showed no signs of being fine, her voice was shaking.

"I should take you home, you're covered in milkshakes" Andrew said, Serena laughed and stood up slowly, at least this time she could leave through the back door, there was no need to cause another scene.

"I can get home" Serena said smiling, she didn't want Andrew to know about her father, if Andrew walked her home there would be trouble.

"I will walk you home" Andrew announced

"Uh..." Serena said as she looked at Andrews smiling face, she just couldn't tell him "sure"

Andrew pulled Serena up from the couch and pushed her out the back door, even if she had said no, it was her birthday and there was no way he could let her spend that alone again.

"Before I take you home there is somewhere I want to take you" Andrew grinned, Serena looked at him and giggled, she twirled around and started to skip ahead, today was starting to become a good day.

Andrew had planned to give her a birthday present at the arcade, but after the milkshake incident he thought it would be better if he gave it to her back at his apartment.

'_I should hurry…if father finds out that I was spending time with a boy...even if it is just Andrew…I don't want to cause any more problems…I cant bring Andrew into this..Even if he would understand' _

Serena began to feel uneasy, they were almost at Andrew's apartment but she felt as if she was being watched, it was probably just her imagination but that didn't mean she could ignore the feeling.

Andrew looked at her, she was still smiling but her eyes weren't, she looked anxious; he could always ask about it later, when Serena was having a better day. Tree branches rustled behind her, she was starting to get scared, but even if her suspicions were true, Andrew was here with her and they were only a couple of steps away from his building in the warehouse district, he would protect her.

****

Darien had watched them disappear into the back room, he quickly left the arcade, there was something suspicious going on between them that Darien had never noticed before. It was probably just Andrew being his usual kind self again, rescuing a damsel in distress. Darien shook his head and dismissed the thought, it was nothing.

****

They were sitting in Andrews lounge room, eating ice cream cake and drinking tea. It was relaxing, Serena was laughing and Andrew was smiling. For once Serena felt no pressure to be anything else then the real her, just as always when she was around Andrew, he is her best friend and that's all that mattered.

"Artemis looks so happy" Serena said, getting up off the couch to look at the two turtles swimming around in their tank.

"I would love to be a turtle" Andrew stated, Serena looked at him and laughed, she knew he was serious.

"Yeah, they don't seem to have a care in the world do they? But then again most animals don't" Serena sighed.

Andrew stood next to Serena, with his arm wrapped around her. He squeezed her tightly, reassuring her that he was there.

Serena didn't want him to let go.

'He cares' Serenity whispered

'LIAR!' Rena screamed 'you've got no one! Everyone's against you, you're all alone!'

Serena shook her head to clear the voices; she didn't want to hear them. Serenity comforted her yet Rena was the one that deep down she believed the most. It never mattered what Serenity said to her, no matter how good it was to hear, after everything she had been through, a part of her always believed Rena and probably always would.

She could feel herself beginning to break down. It didn't matter that he was near her, the thought of having to go back pretending got to Serena every time. Her eyes welled with tears as she tried her hardest to hold them back. Andrew placed his hand on her shoulder, hoping to make her feel better. Andrew frowned, this wasn't his idea of a good birthday, but then again he was sure that Serena didn't want anything extravagant or flashy; she just wanted everything to be okay.

Serena closed her eyes and sighed, things were getting far to complicated.

"Don't open your eyes" Andrew ordered, Serena immediately did the opposite, hoping to find out what was going on. Andrew flicked her forehead and laughed, Serena was such a little kid sometimes.

Andrew placed the neatly wrapped gift in her hands. Serena opened her eyes and stared at the gift and smiled

"Thank you"

"Are you going to open it or not?" Andrew asked, Serena sat back on the couch and pulled to pink ribbon slowly as if hoping to savour the moment; until she gave in and ripped the wrapping paper apart.

Andrew watched her eyes lit up as she looked as the photo frame in her hand, it was her favourite picture of the two on them at the arcade. Serena was sitting in front of the new Sailor V game eating Ice cream while Andrew stood behind her laughing at how bad she was at playing. Serena stood up and hugged him; it was the only logical thing to do.

"Thank you" Serena repeated "i love it"

"I hoped you would" Andrew smiled.

Serena left soon after, photo in hand smiling as she twirled and skipped, making her way home. Andrew as always followed her, making sure that she didn't get lost, Serena was known for her bad sense of direction. Andrew paused for a moment, making sure that she didn't see him it would be awkward trying to explain what exactly he was doing.

**SERENA'S POINT OF VIEW**

If I don't hurry soon Dad will be really mad, I guess I will have to hide this picture, if he ever saw it I don't know what he might do.

'_your such an idiot! You think that he cares because of some tacky little gift!' _Rena screamed '_he'll never care! Why would he? Your just some pathetic little kid to him, he pity's you" _

Just shut up. Please. I don't want to hear this now. Just leave me alone. At least for today, I just want to pretend for a little bit longer. I want to pretend her cares just for today.

'_don't listen to her, Serena, you're a strong person and Andrew will always be there for you' _Serenity said softly.

**NORMAL POINT OF VIEW**

Serena tuned them both out, it was easier to ignore both of them. Serena pulled the large metal door of the warehouse open. Serena stepped inside into the darkness, pulling the door closed behind her. Serena took a deep breathe and felt around for the light switch.

"Found you" Serena whispered.

Serena flicked the switch, turning around slowly Serena breathed in deeply.

Then she screamed.


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: **i do not own Sailor Moon

Thank you for the reviews!!!

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The Warehouse had always been Serena's secrete place.

It was the one place she felt at home. The smell of oil and old car's comforted her. Yet she could never figure out why.

Serena could barley remember the times before her father changed. Her favourite memory of her family was her father fixing the old car outside their house, he was always smiling and laughing. Her mother would bring out tea and cake, they would all sit around the car laughing. Her dad was always covered in grease. It was hard to believe that they were once a normal, happy family.

Those were the times she was trying desperately to remember now. The times before her father started drinking.

She opened her eyes and tried to hold back the tears. She looked into his cold, hard eyes. She could smell the alcohol on his breathe. Serena knew she was in trouble. No one knew where she was. No one was coming to her rescue this time.

Serena tried to scream again but his hand was clasped tightly over her mouth.

"Not even your knight in shinning armour is going to come to your rescue now" Rena said, Serena closed her eyes again, she tried to pretend she was some place else.

"No, Andrew will come" Serenity assured her

Serena didn't want to believe what they said. If Rena was right, then she was in more trouble then she had ever been in before. But if Serenity was right, then Andrew would be put in danger as well.

"You little brat" He snarled "You think you can sleep around with who ever you like!"

Serena winced as his grip around her neck tightened. Her hand hung limp at her side, her legs began to shake as the look in his eyes became ever more wild.

"Im sorry" She whispered

He glared at her. She tried to hold back the tears but she couldn't do it any longer. Tears started to stream down her face, he smirked at her. His grip around her neck tightend even more. She felt herself being thrown threw the air. The man threw her across the warehouse with ease, the crashed into to tin walls.

Serena yelled out in pain.

"You disgraced our family!" He yelled

"I'm sorry" Serena whispered

"Run, you idiot!!!" Rena screamed

"please, Run!" Serenity urged.

Serena continued to cry, she looked up the man. She had never seen him this angry before. There was only one explanation as to why he came to find her. He must of seen her with Andrew.

Serena's eyes widened at this realisation. She had to keep quiet, she didn't want Andrew to be in danger. She was just going to have to wait till he passed out, same as always.

"You little bitch!" he continued to rant.

"im sorry!" Serena replied, she closed her eyes as something heavy slammed into her ribcage.

"I will not tolerate this from my own daughter!" he screamed.

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Andrew had lost sight of her. He had only stopped for a second. He wouldn't have been that worried if he hadn't of heard the high pitch scream. Andrew began to look around frantically, he needed to find her. Even if there was a chance it wasn't Serena, if he didn't look then he would never forgive himself. Serena was his little sister and his best friend, if he didn't protect her then no one else would.

Andrew ran towards the warehouse district, it was the only place he could think she might be.

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'whats this feeling?' Serena thought 'this warmth i feel, am i bleeding? i have to be...it hurts'

Serena laid still. She held her breathe and waited, she was waiting for him to collapse. Serena needed him to pass out. It was the only was she could leave.

"You little brat" he continued to scream, Serena opened her eyes slightly. A smirk spread across his face, he looked down at her and laughed.

"your pathetic" he said, Serena froze.

She head footsteps.

Her heart began to race, her skin became covered in goosebumps. Tears continued to trickle down her cheeks.

She didn't want to believe it. She hoped with all her heart that it wasn't Andrew. She didn't want him to become mixed up in this. This was her problem after all, it was her father. Her responsibility.

Her father took out a cigarette and lit it. He turned away from her and walked towards the warehouse doors. Serena hoped that he might be leaving, but past experiences told her otherwise. Things had only just begun.

He dragged a wooden crate towards where she laid crippled on the floor. He sat on the crate, the cigarette remained in his mouth.

Serena shuddered, she truly hated the smell of smoke.

Serena tried to move, but the pain. The immense pain was to much to bare. The could feel herself slowly slipping away from a consciouses state.

"Your going to pay for this" he said "disgracing our family, your disgusting" he sneered.

Serena looked towards the metal doors of the warehouse, she could still hear the footsteps.

"SERENA!" a voice called out "SERENA!"

Her father looked towards the doors, his smirk widened "So your little boyfriend has come to help you"

"no" Serena whispered "please no"

The metal doors slide open. Serena could see clearly the expression on Andrew's face.

Andrew stared at her. Blood was dripping down her face, her clothes were even covered in blood. He noticed the tears running down her face. It was only after he heard the evil laughter that he realised that there was a man sitting in front of her. Andrew could smell smoke, there was also something else he could identify.

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Serena yelled "I HATE YOU! JUST GO!"

Andrew stared at her in disbelief "what?" he said

Her father smiled

"YOUR SO ANNOYING! THIS ISNT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Serena screamed at him, she held the tears, Andrew needed to leave. The moment he opened the doors she decided to protect him. She could survive this on her own, Andrew was more important.

"Your little boyfriend looks a little shocked"

Serena glanced at the pleased look on her father's face.

Andrew walked towards her. She sounded angry at him, but it was the tears in her eyes that gave her away. She wanted him to leave for his own safety.

"So your the little bitch's boyfriend" he said

"your..so your Serena's father" Andrew said. Andrew had never met her father before, Serena had never wanted him to and now he knew why. He was a wreck. His clothes were wrinkled, the dark bags under his blood shot eyes were obvious signs that he had been drinking.

"Lets go Serena" Andrew said, he slowly inched towards her. Step by step.

"Leave" Serena glared at him, "I SAID LEAVE!"

Her father stood up and flicked the cigarette away, into the corner of the warehouse.

He turned around slammed his foot into Serena's rib cage again. Smirking, he walked straight past Andrew and out of the warehouse, slamming the doors behind him.

That smell.

The same smell Andrew couldn't identify.

He knew the moment he saw the blazing flames.

Petrol.

That's what it was.

"I HATE YOU! LEAVE!" Serena screamed angrily.

It was only then that Serena saw the fire.

She tried to move but the pain was to strong. Her body wouldn't react.

The flames spread, as did the smoke. Serena started to cough.

Andrew ran towards her, the fire surrounded both of them.

Her vision became blurred, she could only see Andrew running towards her. Everything became black.

The smoke

The flames

The warehouse

&

even Andrew faded away.

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please review!

the flashback is almost at an end!


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